You didn't really think this one through, did you?

On my way home from Starbucks today I saw a bumper sticker on a car that said:

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you're reading this in English, thank a solider.

At first glance I thought "okay, it's just somebody who loves America and likes to show off their patriotism." But then... wait... "that doesn't even make sense! At ALL!" English has been the language of the world for longer than America has even been a huge power. The British Empire spread English all over the rest of Europe and into Asia and Africa hundreds of years ago. English is going to be what things are written in...almost no matter what.

The last time that the world... or, okay, let's focus on America... was in "danger" of POSSIBLY being taken over by another country that would have led to the speaking of another language was about 60-70 years ago. World War II. Hitler's Nazi Germany has been the ONLY attempt to take over the world in such a way that could have potentially decreased the speaking of English. And... Mr. Bumper Sticker... in case you didn't notice, most of the people who stopped that from happening are dead. That was a long time ago. The ones who are still living are VETERANS, not SOLDIERS. SOLDIERS are currently fighting in the Middle East, against people who have absolutely no interest in forcing us to speak another language.

There have been disputes in the USA about whether street signs should be in English and Spanish, for the ever-growing Spanish-speaking minority (soon to be majority), but that hasn't even happened. Street signs may be kept English, but a Spanish speaker can totally choose to put a Spanish bumper sticker on his or her car. So... man with the silly bumper sticker... if you want me to thank a soldier that your bumper sticker is in English, is it because without some soldier YOU would have been raised as a member of the minority in the US? Mr. WASP? Really?