a literary criticism: My Papa's Waltz

Theodore Roethke’s “My Papa’s Waltz” describes the unique relationship between Roethke and his father. Theirs is a relationship combining love and fear—a young boy loves and longs for the approval of his father, but simultaneously cannot escape the harshness that is contained in his father’s love. “My Papa’s Waltz” is not about an innocent dance of a small child with his father, but neither is it an account of blatant child abuse. On the contrary, there is a careful line drawn between these two which is very much influenced by Roethke’s own childhood experiences.
The whiskey on your breath
Could make a small boy dizzy;
But I hung on like death:
Such waltzing was not easy (Roethke 451).
This first stanza contains several words with negative connotations, but the denotations of these words are not necessarily negative. The “whiskey on [his father’s] breath (ibid)” automatically raises suspicion because the link between alcohol and child abuse have recently become widely documented, but when the poem was written in 1948, the connection between these two was essentially unheard-of (Smith 4). At that time, to have a drink was considered completely normal, or perhaps even a sign of masculinity. Roethke couldn’t have possibly imagined writing to an audience that is conditioned to notice even the slightest signs of alcoholism. The whiskey is not what Roethke intended to use as negative in this stanza; instead, “dizzy (Roethke 451)” is intended to be negative. If the boy were made dizzy from dancing, then the word would have the playful meaning it usually has, but instead the dizziness is caused by the father’s breath, implying that the father must be very close to the boy’s face—perhaps yelling, or just speaking in a way that is intimidating.
Next, the word “death” is of course negative, but in the context of “[hanging] on like death (Roethke 451),” a negative connotation simply doesn’t make sense. If a person is scared of dying, then he will hang on “for dear life,” not “like death.” If a person hangs on “like death,” then it is a loose hold, probably relatively limp. A person hanging on “for death” is certainly not in fear of losing his life. The darker side enters with the word “such.” With the absence of the word “such,” the line “such dancing was not easy (Roethke 451)” loses its somber meaning. “Such” implies that Roethke and his father are not doing regular old dancing. This is a different kind of dancing—a more sinister kind of dancing that is rough and relatively frightening for the boy.
We romped until the pans
Slid from the kitchen shelf;
My mother’s countenance
Could not unfrown itself (Roethke 451).
Theodore Roethke grew up in Michigan, where his father and uncle owned a greenhouse business. Roethke worked alongside his father in the greenhouse from a young age, and for that reason had a very unique relationship with his father (ROSENTHAL 263). They enjoyed spending time together, but his father was often a bit “demanding, distant, and cold (Baechler 419).” The waltzing, according to the second stanza, is rowdy and rough. The father so roughly waltzes his son around the kitchen that pans slide off the shelf, and while the mother openly disapproves of the activity she does nothing to stop it. It seems that if the child were being abused, his mother would do something more than just frown.
Even though the mother doesn’t necessarily approve of the disruption of her kitchen, she also doesn’t want to disrupt the father-son bonding that the moment creates (Smith 3). The father has kind of a mixture of tenderness and brutality, and the boy Roethke is both joyful and afraid (ROSENTHAL 264). There might be some amount of apprehension in the mother’s mind, but not enough to make her stop what’s going on. Whatever tensions may be present, the central emotion in this poem is the love, however warped it may be, between the father and son (Baechler 419).
The hand that held my wrist
Was battered on one knuckle;
At every step you missed
My right ear scraped a buckle (Roethke 451).
The third stanza, without correct background information, is misleading as to Roethke’s intent. A hand that is “battered on one knuckle” probably implies that the person to whom the hand belongs is a tough and rowdy person, probably gets into fights fairly often and wouldn’t be opposed to occasionally beating his child or wife. For the average person, this stereotype is probably true, but that is not the case with this father, Otto Roethke. Otto Roethke was “a Prussian through and through (ROSENTHAL 264).” He was manly, strong, and firm. He worked hard every day in his very successful greenhouse business to provide for his family. He probably did have various bruises and scrapes, all from working outdoors. Theodore Roethke always viewed his father as “the man who made the flowers grow… the man who established law and enforced it (ROSENTHAL 264).” Otto Roethke was firm, certainly, but a child-beater he was not.
Theodore Roethke’s account of his “right ear [scraping] a buckle (Roethke 451)” is by no means proof of beating. Just about any person with a normal childhood can remember standing on the tops of his or her parent’s feet, who would then walk awkwardly around while the child clung to his parent’s hands or held fistfuls of his parent’s shirt. In such a position, the boy’s head would be waist-level, so that whenever the father “missed [a step](Roethke 451)” or lost his balance, the boy’s ear would “[scrape] a buckle” on his father’s belt(Smith 3). Although this moment of son waltzing with Papa is without a doubt a positive memory for Roethke, there is also something vaguely frightening about it. The whiskey breath, dizzying speed, the powerful father who cannot be criticized by the mother, and the noisy, beating “romp(Roethke 451)” of the waltz all combine to create an activity that is fun and exhilarating because it is somewhat frightening(Smith 4).
You beat time on my head
With a palm caked hard by dirt,
Then waltzed me off to bed
Still clinging to your shirt (Roethke 451).
The fourth and final stanza contains the lines that confirm for many the abusive nature of “My Papa’s Waltz,” as well as the lines that confirm for many its innocence. Many make the assertion that to place the word “beat” in a narrative involving a child without question implies beating the child. This cannot, however, be true because of the direct object “time.” Roethke’s father was beating time, keeping rhythm, and certainly not beating his son. To ignore an intentionally placed direct object is entirely absurd. The father’s hand “caked hard by dirt” only further reinforces the fact that Otto Roethke was a hard-working, responsible, good father who only wanted to enjoy a little time with his son before sending him off to bed. He doesn’t even take time to clean up because he wants to enjoy a few minutes with his son doing something really fun. It’s almost time for bed, so the father does everything he can to get his son riled up rather than calmed down for sleep (Smith 2).
The father’s tight hold on his son’s wrists is mirrored by the son “clinging to [the father’s] shirt (Roethke 451),” giving the image of a fatherly power than can’t be resisted, but also a child that doesn’t want to resist (Smith 5). The father’s power is kept in check by his desire to maintain an intimacy with his son. In the same way that whiskey on the father’s breath would have been unimportant in 1948, the fact that he “[waltzes his son] off to bed (Roethke 451)” is even more noticeable as an extraordinary moment of connection (Smith 5). After beating his child, a father might carry him off to bed, and after being beaten, a child might cling to his father’s shirt; however, these two would more than likely not both occur. Both actions signify an attachment, but in the case of an unhealthy relationship although both might be attached, only one person needs to give signs of such attachment. For these reasons it is clear the father and son have just had a very fun and loving, though perhaps a bit frightening, experience.
While there is no evidence in “My Papa’s Waltz” to suggest actual beating, there are many details that suggest a kind of danger and a hint of underlying violence (Smith 5). Otto Roethke was an honest but rough man, and his relationship with his son was both tender and frightening. While Theodore Roethke’s father would never intentionally harm him, he did have a sort of tough love, and Roethke had an appreciation for his father’s violent affection. “My Papa’s Waltz” is a fantastic poem that effectively shows the fine line between actual danger and exhilarating terror.