Flying with Julia Doten

Much of my initial intrigue with Julia Doten, her mother, and her daughter stemmed about ten years ago when I met her daughter Ripley, who has been my best friend for many years. I believe that the most common response to “Hi, my name is Ripley” is simply “really?” My best friend’s name is Ripley Elizabeth Doten. When I asked Ripley, at the age of eight, where her name came from, she replied “it was my grandmother’s name.” That didn’t make sense. As unusual as a name like that is, it would have been exceedingly more unusual sixty years ago. Eventually the truth came out that although her grandmother was called Ripley, it was actually her middle name, taken from her own mother’s maiden name.
In the 1960s there were a grand total of twelve women aviation instructors in all of New England, and Ripley Miller was one of them. “Mom never let anyone tell her what to do,” says Julia. Ripley balanced the tasks of raising a family, working as a pilot, promoting women in aviation, and being a leader in the International Organization of Women Pilots. Julia clearly inherited her mother’s ambitious nature, for she has accomplished a number of things, including becoming a published author. In her book A Long White Scarf, Julia recounts the story of her mother’s life, combining it with personal childhood memories. She tells a brief story about her last encounter with her mother, “she opened her top drawer, and gave me a small box which contained a charm for my charm bracelet, engraved with my birth date from nine days ago. She explained that it had taken her a while to find the right one, and then have it engraved. I think I hugged her. Then she left for work” (Doten 130). Julia and her mother didn’t say goodbye.
Ripley worked delivering cargo out of Boston, and that night she never came home. Her plane went down over Boston Harbor, but it was several days before the plane and Ripley were found (Doten 131). Because of the days of searching, Julia and her siblings never really got a period of mourning. They didn’t want to cry while there was still hope, and by the time the search was over too much time had already passed. Julia went back to high school and on with life.
Julia says that when she was a little girl, she wanted to be a ballerina when she grew up. Next she wanted to be an archeologist, and then an architect. In high school, Julia took lots of drafting classes, feeling safe following in the tracks of her father’s civil engineering business. When she finished high school, she went to work for an insurance company, which wasn’t too gripping or thrilling, but it was a job. After a few years, Julia went out and got her Pilot’s License, knowing that her mother would have taught her to fly, had she been able to. She also has worked for her father’s civil engineering business, designing parts of houses, and parts of different locations around her hometown of Wilmington, MA. She tells me that, whether out of fear or comfort, it always seemed easiest to follow in her parents’ footsteps (Doten, Julia).
While it may have been easier to do what her parents had done, Julia has managed quite a few of her own accomplishments. She modeled occasionally, and after getting married went to Northern Essex Community College to study business. She is now a published author. Modeling and writing were and are her own things, separate from her parents. She says that writing the book about her mother was therapeutic; it was a way of putting all of those memories in order, and a way of dealing with emotions that had been left unexamined.
I have been told again and again by the younger Ripley about her mother Julia’s constant need to know where she is, all the time. To an eighteen year old girl this can be irritating, but there are reasons for what seems to Ripley to be paranoia. Julia never got a chance to say goodbye to her mother, and on top of that, her mother was missing for several days. In the constant coming and going of daily life, telling your family where you’re going and saying “goodbye” every time you leave the house can easily become a nuisance, but to Julia it’s extremely important. “Just say goodbye before you leave,” is all Julia asks.
“I asked God to never again let someone important to me die without saying goodbye” says Julia. This must have been racing through her head this past September when her brother told her “Dad crashed his plane and it’s really bad” (Doten, Julia). Julia’s father, my best friend’s grandfather, like his wife also an accomplished pilot, had crashed his plane. Julia says that for her, when a crisis happens, the only things to do are believe that everything will be alright, and keep busy. This must come from being a mother, I think. You have to keep smiling, if only for the sake of your children. She was right in believing that everything would be okay; he is okay. Ken Miller, her father, is alive and getting better daily, thanks in no small part to the constant care and attention from his daughter, affectionately known by him as “Julie.”
Julia’s mother, Ripley, worked in a highly male-dominated profession, and according to Julia, would never let anyone tell her what she could or couldn’t do. Ripley’s daughter, Julia, has continued her mother’s tradition. She wanted to be on the cover of a magazine, and she did it. She wanted to be a mother, and she did it. She wanted to write a book, and she did it. Julia Doten. A daughter, a model, a student, a civil engineer, an author, and the mother of my best friend. Through her life, Julia has been many different things to many different people, but perhaps the most important thing to consider is this: what does Julia Doten think of herself? She says “I think of myself as an artist.” She may not be as quite an accomplished pilot as her parents, but Julia has flown, even soared with everything she has set her mind to. It is clear to me that, whether in parenting, modeling, engineering, or writing, Julia has always made an effort to create something beautiful, and she has thus far been extremely successful.