things to come

Hiii. I'm sitting here listening to showtunes, wondering what this week will hold. I need to apply to college, but let's face it, I'm terrified. I tried three different schools already and none of them "were right" (at the time, anyway). What if I talk this up so much, tell everyone how great it is that I've finally figured out what I'm going to do with my life, and then... I don't get into nursing school? Or what if I get in, start going, and then immediately hit the same wall I've hit three times already, the feeling of "this just isn't for me." I know one thing, and that's that I can't work in food service for the rest of my life. Something has to change, and in order for that change to occur I have to get off my behind and get a degree. Is it just sheer laziness that's kept me from that point so far? Laziness, cowardice, lying to myself. It's probably one or all of those.

Well. I'm going to Haiti in 16 days. I'm going to do as much nursing type things as I can while I'm there, and assuming I still don't lose my control and pass out or throw up, I'm going to consider it a sign that that's what I should be doing. I should probably fill out an application, or at least get my transcripts ready to go before then. I could totally see myself just putting it off until I miss a date, and then just use that as an excuse for putting it off another semester. One thing that I am excited for about going back to school... is that I will once again be in a place where it's not horribly intimidating to audition for a show. I want to be on stage again. It's been waaay too long, especially considering that it used to be what I thought I was going to do with my life. Soon, I'll try it again.

plans for 2009

Oh hi! I haven't really told anyone this yet, and I probably won't, at least not until I've actually sent in an application, but... my current plan is to return to UML in September 2009 as an English major with a concentration in Writing. I could only put it off for so long, but I guess that was always what I would inevitably do. I'm out of practice writing, I need to take some classes at the very least for the sake of getting back into the swing of things!

Also, I'm probably going to go to California in February or March, and I'm going to Haiti in April. Hopefully Europe will come sometime in the Summer. There's still time to figure that one out.

I started reading Dracula about a month ago, and I still haven't finished. I read half of it within a week, and then I just put it down and haven't picked it up again. I feel kind of guilty about it. It's just not exciting. Sorry, Dad.