new boyfriend

So, my parents got me a new boyfriend for Christmas. He came in a box, and I call him Tommy. He prefers to be called Tom Tom, and when I'm frustrated with him I call him by his full name... Thomas Thomas. He speaks to me in a sexy British accent and I love it. He's going to live in my car until the day that he dies, and until that day I will rely on him to tell me how to get everywhere I'm going.


That's right.. I've been given an oh so fine GPS.